Let it Go
by WorkshopsSecret1111
Summary: My thought on Girl Meets Upstate and Lucas' reaction. Lucaya, Mentions of Riarkle


**I absolutely love Girl Meets World. Yes, I am a twenty-one year old married woman, but it just gets me.**

 **And I love Lucas and Maya.**

 **This one-shot is based off of Girl Meets Upstate. I haven't seen it, so many of the quotes might be slightly wrong.**

 **But I might add to this.**

 **I'm working on Vampire Smile. I promise.**

 **Chapter 1: Let it Go**

 _"I do my thing and you do your thing. You are you and I am I, and if in the end we end up together, it's beautiful._

You're sitting in the bay window waiting. You would've waited at her house, but you know she only goes there to sleep and there are still hours left in the day, so you are waiting. When she climbs through, you can't help but feel a tightness overwhelm your stomach and your hands began to clam up.

This is it. You are going to tell her.

They ask where they have been and Riley said looking for Maya.

But it doesn't make sense to you. Because she's right there, yeah covered in purple paint, but she was still right there.

The same short stack of pancakes she has always been.

"Oh. Did you find her?" Because she needs to know she's it. You're pretty sure she has always been it, but your fear of hurting Riley overtook you.

Because Maya figured she was going to get hurt anyway and even if Riley _thinks_ she isn't sure—Riley assumes you are going to pick her.

Maya doesn't even think she is in the running. That you just want to let her down easy and so stringing her along is just a ploy to look like the good guy.

But you know it is her. You're pretty sure even Zay and Farkle realize it's her. Because if it was Riley—if it had always been Riley, why do you find it necessary to even the playing field back for Maya?

If it was fate, why are you staring at the blonde beauty like she is it for you?

Because she is the one that pushed Riley.

Because you met her first.

Because she doesn't care that you aren't perfect—you might be just as broken as she is.

Because while Riley made you feel like you had to be the Prince Charming and there were certain rules to follow so she could have her Cory and Topanga love, Maya was the one building you up and making you forget Riley was sitting next to her.

Then she's pulling you close and you have to look away to stop the smile pulling at your muscles. It is involuntary, but Riley _is_ right there and she doesn't realize it hasn't been her for a while.

But maybe it hasn't been you for a while either.

Because she looks way too longingly at Farkle for it to still be you.

And it doesn't bother you like it once did with Charlie. With Farkle, it would make perfect sense.

But she is still stuck on first love equals always love.

"Have you made a decision, Ranger Rick?"

You can't help but smile. You finally can tell her that even covered in purple paint, she still looked every bit of the blonde beauty you once described her as. She would look good with purple hair even.

You think back to times she has pulled you this close. Once a chance, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a pattern. She likes having you close just as much as you like being pulled in.

"Yes, I have."

But then she is shoving you away and you feel cold. You want to grab her hand, have some part of you touching her. Back when you sat behind her in class, and she lounged back on your desk, you found reasons to inch your hand closer and closer before you seen you were rubbing the back of her arm out of view for all to see—except maybe Sarah—she was right next to you. But you aren't even realizing you did it half the time. When she'd get frustrated at not understand something, your calm circles just seemed instinct.

"Well, it doesn't matter."

She's pulling back. You know she is. She's choosing for you because it takes the hurt away from her and choosing her—is it even really an option?

She's always going to pick Riley's happiness over her own.

"Yes it does." You aren't the one who is saying it because you are frozen.

You need to make some kind of noise, because you are about to lose her. You can tell the hope is starting to subside left with the bitter anger.

She wasn't turning in to Riley. She was growing up and Riley is trying to revert her back to no hope Maya.

But you wanted that Maya too.

You aren't bashing Riley. No of course not, she is your best friend, but she is wrong. She is trying to find an easy way to fix this triangle mess in a way that ends her favor and has Maya not realize she likes you.

And you like her.

"No, because you chose Riley."

Your heart drops because it is over. There is no way in any shape or form can you respond with no. Because you are hearing Riley squeal in happiness, covering it with such a thin apology it couldn't even hold up a piece of paper.

Dread is filling your bones because you lost her. You can't go back now because she would hate you for breaking Riley's heart and Riley thinks it is her.

You don't even hear the rest of her words, you are lost in the way her lips are moving and trying to memorize exactly how she feels and the smell of her apple perfume wafting around with the acrylic paint—painstakingly Maya.

And just as quickly as you thought you had her, you lost her.

"What do you want?" Because all you want is her to be happy.

And you thought that was you.

Why else would she threaten no to speak to you after the bull? Why else would she always sit beside you, not even a dime could slide between you two.

You make her happy, right?

Maybe you were wrong, maybe you aren't what makes her happy.

She expects to be broken and expects to have you run the other way to hear brown haired friend.

And Riley looks so happy that you can't hurt her—not now.

So you swallow the lump in your throat and tell the voice yelling to grab Maya and explain it has always been to quiet down and you to try to force a smile.

The best you can do is a grimace.

It was supposed to be her.

 **From walking home and talking loads  
To seeing shows in evening clothes with you  
From nervous touch and getting drunk  
To staying up and waking up with you**

 **But now we're sleeping at the edge  
Holding something we don't need  
All this delusion in our heads  
Is gonna bring us to our knees**

 **So come on let it go  
Just let it be  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me**

 **Everything's that's broke  
Leave it to the breeze  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me[x2]**

 **From throwing clothes across the floor  
To teeth and claws and slamming doors at you  
If this is all we're living for  
Why are we doing it, doing it, doing it anymore**

 **I used to recognize myself  
It's funny how reflections change  
When we're becoming something else  
I think it's time to walk away**

 **So come on let it go  
Just let it be  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me**

 **Everything's that's broke  
Leave it to the breeze  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me[x2]**

 **Trying to fit your hand inside of mine  
When we know it just don't belong  
There's no force on earth  
Could make me feel right, no**

 **Whoa**

 **Trying to push this problem up the hill  
When it's just too heavy to hold  
Think now's the time to let it slide**

 **So come on let it go  
Just let it be  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me**

 **Everything's that's broke  
Leave it to the breeze  
Let the ashes fall  
Forget about me**

 **Come on let it go  
Just let it be  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me**

 **And I'll be me**


End file.
